Ali’s Story - Hannah was born on March 6th 1999, our first child, and everything was going well.
On her 1st birthday, Hannah was unwell. For the next 6 months, she fluctuated from a 'normal', happy child to a clingy one. As time progressed, her head began to tilt until her ear was almost touching her shoulder. Hannah's eating became very erratic at this time too.
Visits to the doctors suggested earache and the 'terrible twos' - early.
On September 5th, Hannah had an appointment with a paediatric Consultant at our local hospital. As she seemed in better spirits that day, it was suggested that Mum was 'overanxious!'' When we returned from the hospital, Hannah walked about and ate a kiwi fruit and banana - something that I remember clearly. Perhaps I had been neurotic?
On 8th September 2000, Hannah was again taken to the doctors, where a locum insisted she be seen at the local General Hospital. Hannah was kept in overnight for observation and was transferred to Newcastle General Hospital that afternoon for scans. Thank God for that Locum - he listened -as we could have lost our only child much earlier!
An initial MRI scan showed increased pressure on the brain, caused by a tumour. This required emergency surgery to alleviate the pressure, followed by an operation to remove as much of the tumour as possible for biopsy. After almost a week in PICU, Hannah was moved to a general ward, where we spent much of the next year. At this point she was tube fed.
Hannah was fitted with an internal line for treatment and drugs, and began a year of chemotherapy - the baby brain protocol - until she was old enough to receive radiotherapy. You never believe that you will bring up your child in Hospital, fastened to a bed whilst they are pumped full of poisons, in the hope that they will kill the cancer!
Hannah received 28 sessions of radiotherapy when she was 33 months - the normal age being 36 months. As she required sedation, Hannah was at risk and needed resuscitation on a couple of occasions.
Hannah was able to start a relatively 'normal' life. We began to live at home, she was fed orally, her treatment lines were removed, her hair began to grow and Hannah could attend playgroup and later Nursery. We holidayed at every possible opportunity!
In September 2003, Hannah began school - a day we thought we would never see. She looked fabulous in her uniform - such a big girl. We were so proud. If only we'd known what was about to come!
On 27th September, we noticed Hannah was rubbing her eyes, and next day, one turned inwards. An emergency scan was arranged, and it was found that the initial tumour had regrown, rapidly. Unfortunately, this could not be removed or treated.
Hannah lost her fight at home on January 18th 2004. She was four.
David’s Story - Hi, I’m David, Hannah’s Dad. Hannah was our only daughter and I was unable to help during her struggle against Cancer. As Dad, I felt I thought I should be able to help Hannah, and also my wife Ali, but felt I failed on both counts. As a male – and a Northerner- I found it painfully difficult to talk to others, as most of the groups that met were made up of predominantly females. I even had a ‘friend’ say that I couldn’t understand Ali’s pain as I hadn’t carried Hannah for 9 months!! Needless to say I put her straight!
I feel that it is vital to include men in dragonflies-bop as we play such an important role in supporting our children and partners. What’s more – we hurt too!
We miss you Hannah
x X x
